[X-men fic]Amendsverse Solitude
Dec. 15th, 2011 11:21 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
raze_flynDisclaimer: Everything belongs to Marvel just borrowing it for my own and hopefully the amusement of other fans.
This is a fic in my Amends verse of interconnected fics.
Contains: Highlight to read:Logan/Rachel mention of past Logan/Jean
Solitude
He knew it some folks would consider it a cowards move to take off like he did but he needed solitude to deal with what happened. He wasn’t capable of self denial despite the fact they’d been influenced by someone else he’d wanted Rachel for a while now. A lot of what drew him to Jean was also present in Rachel but she also understood and shared the experience of the type of horror he’d lived through. Jean never had so loving her was safe, he wasn’t sure that possibly loving Rachel was.
A part of him had always believed on some level that Jean would never be his that she’d always have chosen Cyclops or someone else. He could still remember when they all thought Cyclops was dead how she’d seemed to flirt more with Gambit than with him. He accepted that a few stolen kisses during moments of weakness on her part were all they’d ever get. It was why he’d turned her down after Cassandra Nova’s attack because deep down he’d known she was just weak at that moment and would regret it. He couldn’t live with her regretting it, which had always stood between them.
He sometimes wished he’d have taken her up on the offer and how the whole Cyclops and Emma thing would have played out if he’d been with Jean. He saw a doe and it reminded him that thinking about Jean wasn’t what he was here to do he was here to decide if he could even attempt a relationship with Rachel.
She had all of Jean’s passion but she also had a dark side full of trauma that was as bad as his own or maybe worse. He didn’t really care what the other X-men might say if they started dating it was more if they’d bring out the worst in each other or not. Their friendship hadn’t but in his experience a lover you were truly close to could hurt you so much more than a friend. He wasn’t worried about his own demons resurfacing but she was carrying around a piece of infinity that if he hurt her bad enough to go nuclear. The promise he’d made to kill her if she lost control would always be in the back of his head if they got together and he wasn’t sure he could bear to kill a lover it would be hard enough to kill a friend.
He turned and headed deeper into the woods. He had time and he had solitude now he just needed to figure out what he was going to do and then talk to Rachel about it and hoped she’d come to the same decision that he had.
The End.
REVIEW HERE
This is a fic in my Amends verse of interconnected fics.
Contains: Highlight to read:Logan/Rachel mention of past Logan/Jean
Solitude
He knew it some folks would consider it a cowards move to take off like he did but he needed solitude to deal with what happened. He wasn’t capable of self denial despite the fact they’d been influenced by someone else he’d wanted Rachel for a while now. A lot of what drew him to Jean was also present in Rachel but she also understood and shared the experience of the type of horror he’d lived through. Jean never had so loving her was safe, he wasn’t sure that possibly loving Rachel was.
A part of him had always believed on some level that Jean would never be his that she’d always have chosen Cyclops or someone else. He could still remember when they all thought Cyclops was dead how she’d seemed to flirt more with Gambit than with him. He accepted that a few stolen kisses during moments of weakness on her part were all they’d ever get. It was why he’d turned her down after Cassandra Nova’s attack because deep down he’d known she was just weak at that moment and would regret it. He couldn’t live with her regretting it, which had always stood between them.
He sometimes wished he’d have taken her up on the offer and how the whole Cyclops and Emma thing would have played out if he’d been with Jean. He saw a doe and it reminded him that thinking about Jean wasn’t what he was here to do he was here to decide if he could even attempt a relationship with Rachel.
She had all of Jean’s passion but she also had a dark side full of trauma that was as bad as his own or maybe worse. He didn’t really care what the other X-men might say if they started dating it was more if they’d bring out the worst in each other or not. Their friendship hadn’t but in his experience a lover you were truly close to could hurt you so much more than a friend. He wasn’t worried about his own demons resurfacing but she was carrying around a piece of infinity that if he hurt her bad enough to go nuclear. The promise he’d made to kill her if she lost control would always be in the back of his head if they got together and he wasn’t sure he could bear to kill a lover it would be hard enough to kill a friend.
He turned and headed deeper into the woods. He had time and he had solitude now he just needed to figure out what he was going to do and then talk to Rachel about it and hoped she’d come to the same decision that he had.
The End.
REVIEW HERE
